SEX FACTOID

Picked this one up from Dr. Ducky, duckydoo. Cracked me up something good. Here is a custom that we should adopt in the US fairly soon.

SEX FACTOID
Empress Wu Hu (Tang Dynasty 700-900 C.E.), designed a custom to symbolically elevate the female and humble the males… Consequently, all government officials and visiting dignitaries were obliged by royal decree to pay homage to her Imperial Highness by performing cunnilingus on her.

(no subject)

Dear MoveOn member,

Tonight, ABC's Nightline is doing something beautiful and courageous.
The entire show will consist of a reading of the names of each soldier
who has fallen in Iraq, while his or her photograph shows on the
screen.
( Read more... )

(no subject)

Hmmm, my grandboss just called me on the phone and said he was going to call me again once he met with my boss to come to his office.

Either this is really good news, or really bad news. The way I get kicked in the nuts on a regular basis around this place, I only give it a 5% chance of being good news. Also, they generally don't like to surprise you with good news around this place. If they have bad news for you they circle the wagons and form a plan, then come at you as a group with very little warning.

So something important is about to happen, but I am not being given an oppritunity to prepare for it. So that indicate bad news.

But, on the other hand, I had a very productive week and was a key member in solving a serious problem. That indicates good news.

God I love this place.

Potential Darwin Award

I have this coworker. This coworker is infact less intelligent than a bag of hammers. Observe.

Six months ago he was arrested for DWI (driving while intoxicated). Not only was he intoxicated, he was stinking-shitfaced-falldown-plastered drunk, his blood alcohol level was .3+ (In Minnesota USA you are considered drunk at .08 to .1).

He went to court where he was placed on one month of probation, had to undergo treatment and had a suspended sentance of one year and one day if he repeated. He arrived back to work wearing a radio transmitter on his ankle.

Later that week he went to his first treatment meeting. Upon attendance at these meetings you need to be tested for alcohol and blew a .19. He then ran from the building hopped into his car and sped off (Yes, he drove away from an AA meeting shitfaced drunk). The reason he blew a .19? Had been up all night drinking and had stopped drinking a mere three hours before the AA meeting. So, three hours previous he was even drunker.

Then the police chased him down, right? Wrong, they let him go and never did a damn thing about it. Then began attending his AA meetings sober.

Life went on for six months.

Yesterday he earned a trip to the hospital by laying down his motorcycle. Mind you, before he wrecked his motorcycle, this 135 pound man consumed 8 beers and a fifth of vodka in a 3 hour period. I understand the police are waiting to escort him from the hostipal to jail.

Lets write a country song:

*Shitfaced drunk
*Recently lost his girlfriend
*Going to jail
*Wrecked his motorcycle (shooting his truck would have been better)
*Will loose his job
*Will be "Bubba's" little bitch in the slammer
*Drove to and drove away from an AA meeting completely smashed.

Key events to finish the country song:

*Trailer home needs to be swept away by a tornado
*His dog needs to be shot by girlfriend
*One cowboy hat