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You know you need some Menudo.

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Lesser Known Members of the Hunnic Empire 400 - 450 AD

Attila The Dope

His rule he was one of the most unnoticed of the Western and Eastern Roman Empires' enemies: he never invaded the Balkans twice, he never marched through Gaul (modern France) as far as Orleans and was absent at the Battle of Chalons.

Attila the Dope sought to bring Europe to it's knees by producing the finest Kiełbaska sausage weapons of all history.

Edit: Attila the Dope lives!

FRESNO, California (AP) -- Authorities say they've arrested a man who broke into the home of two California farmworkers, stole money, rubbed one with spices and whacked the other with a sausage before fleeing.
http://www.cnn.com/2008/US/09/07/sausage.attack.ap/index.html

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The Large Hadron Collider is scheduled to start-up on 10 September 2008. On this day, the very first attempt to circulate a beam through the entire LHC will begin, and the first high-energy collisions are planned to take place after the LHC is officially unveiled, on 21 October 2008.



http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Large_Hadron_Collider

And, um, yeah, CERN should just stick to particle physics.
The LHC Rap