Jul. 14th, 2010

mojocatt: (Default)
Word is it's going to be a little hot today in Minnesota, word is also it is going to storm. Word is it will be 85 degrees, word is it will break 100.

Time for me to get that job.

Mojocatt Weather Center Forecast valid for 07.14.2010 to Destruction of Earth

Expect a layer of gases surrounding the planet Earth that is retained by Earth's gravity, absorbing ultraviolet solar radiation, warming the surface through heat retention and reducing temperature extremes between day and night. This layer of gases will contain roughly 78.09% nitrogen, 20.95% oxygen, 0.93% argon, 0.039% carbon dioxide, and small amounts of other gases. The gas layer also contains a variable amount of water vapor, on average around 1%.

Computer models predict continued stellar nucleosynthesis approximately 149.6 million kilometers straight above your little beer numbed brain. Gases are predicted to move about the planet via convective action as a result of the exposed side of the planet being warmed by the stellar nucleosynthesis.

As a result of the above activity a weather warning has been issued from 3,000,000,000 BC 14:23 to 3,000, 000,000 AD 15:30. Water vapor may condensate into droplets, possibly striking you in either liquid or various frozen forms.

Expect hot.

Expect cold.

Expect something somewhere in between hot and cold, but actually quite pleasant compared to the areas outside of the layer of gas surrounding planet.

Expect rapidly increasing amounts of chemicals, particulate matter, or biological materials that cause harm or discomfort to organisms in layer of gas. These amounts shall continue to rapidly increase until the humans snuff themselves, then expect a steady decline of chemicals and particulate matter over the next 5,000 years. A general applause may occur from other organisms on the planet in this event.

A El Niño might occur during this time, then again it may not, it could be a La Niña year. If nothing happens expect a strong La Nada. Either way a burrito sounds good.

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Issued by Mojocatt Weather Service
07.14.2010 07:58

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